Caring for Mom and Baby
Recently CBR received a survey response to abortionNO.org in which a young woman expressed that she was “pregnant and contemplating abortion”. CBR’s Crisis Pregnancy Outreach Director, Lois Cunningham , responds to all of those individuals who contact us and are in need of crisis pregnancy counseling or post-abortion counseling. Because we care for all the women like this so much, we wanted to share this message that Lois sent to this young lady. The name in this letter has been changed to protect her privacy.
Thank you for taking time to visit abortionNO.org and completing our website survey. I was concerned to read your sentence, “I am pregnant contemplating an abortion.” Hopefully our website was a real eye-opener as to the reality of what abortion would do to your child. I’d also like to offer you more personal help as your make a decision with which both you and your baby can live. I am a registered nurse who formerly directed a pregnancy help clinic in Los Angeles. We helped thousands of women of all ages as they faced their crisis or unplanned pregnancies. Visit this link to locate a similar clinic or center near you that will provide you with free and confidential assistance. What concerns are leading you to contemplate abortion? Are you single or married? Do you have support from your family or friends to carry your pregnancy to term?
I want to be a like a big sister to you and say, “You can do it!” You can welcome this child as a gift from God. The timing rarely is just “right” for a pregnancy, but you can make the adjustments to welcome this child wholeheartedly into your life.
By 3 weeks, your baby already has a heartbeat. Many women do not realize the rapid growth of the child in utero. Brain waves are measurable by 6 weeks. Between 7-8 weeks, doctors can begin to see via ultrasound if a child is right or left-handed! By 8 weeks gestation, your child has all his body systems. For the duration of pregnancy, he will just increase in size and the organs will develop to their full function level. You should see the beautiful video images of babies developing in the womb, such as 4-D ultrasound.
Abortion never solves any of life’s problems, but it always puts the ultimate burden on the child for the problems. Your child would die by a violent means, whether through being suctioned or cut apart or by being poisoned, depending on the abortion method. You don’t want that for your child. You also don’t want the pain and grief that follow an abortion. As a nurse, I’ve never seen pain that equals post-abortion pain. For some women, it can be buried for years, but it will surface and it can be brutal. I’ve had a lot of experience counseling women who deeply regretted their abortions. These women number in the millions worldwide.
If you have other children, please realize that your children would not want you to abort their sibling. Or if you want to have children later on, this is an important consideration. All children instinctively know abortion is wrong and most children want brothers and sisters. You must consider the reality that your born children would someday learn about the abortion if you were to choose to do it. A major decision like that cannot be hidden forever. Children are quite perceptive and secrets come out. Studies done by professionals such as the Canadian Psychiatrist Philip Ney have shown that “survivors” (siblings of children who were aborted) are negatively affected by abortion. They may ask, “Why was this child aborted and not me?” or “Did Mom want to abort me too?” This can create serious distrust and a lacking of bonding between mother and child. Children are permanently scarred by knowing a sibling was aborted.
If you can gather the courage and strength to carry your baby to term, but don’t believe that you are a point in your life where you can parent him (i.e. if you are single and without much help), there are thousands of loving families waiting to adopt children. I am an adoptive mother of 3 daughters. Here are some links for you to begin researching this loving option: mayweadopt.com, www.bethany.org.
I know I’ve written a lot and there’s much more I could say. But I will close with this. God loves you and He created you and your baby. He has a purpose for you being pregnant now. You don’t have any idea yet of who is in your womb, but God does. He will help you and bless you through the life of this child, just ask God to help you now and in the future. I have been praying for you and I will continue to ask God to bless your family. Here is a passage from the Bible that has encouraged many mothers of all ages and situations whom I’ve cared for over the years. King David is writing about God’s work in the womb:
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
Anna, please write me back and let me know how you are doing and how I might help you. I really do care about you.