By CC:

I am home now. I am safe and loved; I know only peace and boundless love. I am with my friends and my family. I am cherished beyond my ability to understand.

Not so long ago, everything was different. My life had just begun. Everything about me was new and wonderful. Every day I would discover things that I hadn’t noticed before. Light and dark, the shades in between them. I could move my body, turn and roll and reach. I could hear my mother’s voice, talking to me. To me! We would go everywhere together. At night quiet and stillness would come; in the silence as I slept, my first dreams came to me. Somehow I understood that a powerful stirring surrounded me, something much greater than I. How could I be so small yet so important?

Music! My mother’s voice as she sang to me! The sound moved through all of me as she sang the rhythms of love and kindness, of hope and a future. How I wanted to join my voice with hers!

I could hear her laughter. At first I didn’t know what it was. But as I grew used to it I understood that it came to me from her heart, from the depth of her spirit. In it, we could celebrate together!

How am I known? What is a name? Do I have one? Mother frequently spoke the same soft sounds to me, is that my name? How beautiful those sounds are to me! Does my mother have a name? Would she know me if she heard my voice?

I remember when the changing came. Different sounds, different voices, different thoughts. Fear, and anger, I could hear the voices. They spoke to Mother “You can’t have this… Think of yourself…. You aren’t ready…. It’s best for everyone….” My mother’s voice became silent, we no longer sang together. Her laughter had faded away. In its place was whispering, heaviness, despair. The weight became unbearable for both of us.

And then, that day came! My birth! No. I wasn’t born, I was… I was… broken! Pain washed over me and through me and filled me. For the first time, I was alone. Silence and darkness enveloped me. I felt my spirit shudder, and contract. Emptiness.

But in the darkness there came a light, a Light that filled me, pushing away the darkness. Holding me. Loving me.

I am home now. I am in my Father’s house.